California Teaches Students to Cheat

California state documents show that at least 75 teachers helped students cheat on standardized tests over the past five years. The Los Angeles Times reported that teachers gave students the right answers, gave hints, and even "changed the students' responses themselves."

The somewhat controversial methods are part of an experimental program sponsored by the National Education Association, tentatively called "Cheating: It's a Blast!" The program aims to help students become more competent in their cheating habits, said California Teachers Association representative Beverly Tucker. "Students cheat on their history papers, they cheat on their english exams, and they cheat on their math tests," she said. "Too many of those students are getting caught because they lack basic knowledge of time-tested recipes for cheating success. That's where we come in." Tucker helped implement the program, which allows students to substitute one of their other courses for an hour of cheating exercises. Students who take the course are graded on how well they cheat, "with extra credit given for more creative cheating," according to Tucker. So far, the majority of those taking the course are involved with student government. "The student government officers say the cheating course is a good way to prepare for life as a real elected official," added Tucker.

China Cancels Michael Jordan Fan Event

China's government cancelled an event that basketball star Michael Jordan was to attend, citing "safety" concerns. Beijing police dispersed the fans, who had blocked a street to protest the government's actions. The government reacted as it had in 2001, when it blocked an appearance by NBA star Kobe Bryant, because "a large crowd" had turned out to see him.

A spokesman for China's Happiness Prevention Office told reporters that the government's actions are in the best interests of its citizens. "The event was cancelled precisely because so many people had turned out to see Mr. Jordan," the spokesman said. "We maintain a list of things that people enjoy, and if a large number of people enjoy that thing, we promptly ban it," he said, adding that the same policy is responsible for the government's ban on couples having more than one child. When a reporter questioned the spokesman about other things that large numbers of people enjoy, such as eating food and living productive lives, the spokesman said that his office would investigate and ban those activities if necessary.

Google Sued Over Name, Yahoo Next

Professor Edward Kasner invented the word 'Googol' in the 1940s to describe a very large number, "the number 1 followed by a hundred zeros." Now, some of his descendants are suing search engine company Google for "capitalizing on the name" without actually using Kasner's mathematical concepts. Peri Fleisher, Kasner's great-niece, has complained that Google is "playing off that number and not compensating them even a little bit."

Google is the second prominent Internet company this year to face a lawsuit over the origin of its name. The descendants of Lemuel Gulliver, whose famous travels were first described by Jonathan Swift in 1726, have sued Yahoo!, claiming that they hold the rights to the Internet giant's distinct brand. Late in his life, Gulliver traveled to Houyhnhnmland, where he met a malicious but cowardly group he called the 'Yahoos.' Jedediah Gulliver, Lemuel's great-great-great-great-great-great grandson, said in a suit that he will no longer allow Yahoo! to use the name his famous ancestor invented, but he will permit the company to change its name to 'Houyhnhnmland.'

Restaurants Rationing Napkins

Restaurants in Wisconsin have begun rationing napkins in order to cut costs and remain competitive. Restaurant workers have done everything from hiding the napkins to using dispensers that limit customers to one napkin only. Jerry Hawkins, senior director of marketing for paper company Georgia Pacific, said that his company's EZ-Nap dispenser should "reduce napkin use by about 30 percent."

Hawkins said that when he was first asked by restaurant owners to design a napkin-limiting dispenser, he reacted with skepticism. "Can't people just clean their hands on their socks?" he wondered. After one of Georgia Pacific's engineers showed him the designs for the EZ-Nap he realized it had enormous potential. "The EZ-Nap's main innovation is the addition of a 'customer-tracker' on the front of the napkin dispenser," Hawkins said. "The EZ-Nap's customer-tracker recognizes a customer who has already removed a napkin, and if that customer attempts to take more napkins, an alarm will sound and security will be called to escort the customer out." Hawkins warned that if customers continue to "shamelessly overuse the napkin supply," they will soon force restaurants to implement even more cost-cutting measures. He noted that one restaurant in the Milwaukee area has lost so much money supplying expensive napkins that it is changing over to a potluck system. "Each customer will need to bring a salad or a main course to the meal if they wish to eat at that establishment," Hawkins said.

Scientist Discovers Why Earth Wobbles

Geoff Blewitt, a geophysicist at the University of Nevada, Reno, has figured out why the Earth wobbles on its axis as it rotates. Blewitt and his colleagues have been using GPS technology to track the movement of water as it cycles from polar regions to the oceans and into the atmosphere. "We actually observe bulges in the Earth's shape directly and relate it to the wobble," Blewitt said.

"Recent advancements in the technology of GPS along with simple lessons from nature have allowed us to finally understand the reason for the wobbling," he said. Speaking to a stunned crowd of geophysicists at an international science conference in Montreal, Blewitt explained how he and his wife had been babysitting his nephew Danny, age 6, when Danny started spinning around, not stopping until he became dizzy and finally fell over. "He began to rock back and forth before losing his balance altogether. And that's when it dawned on me, the Earth... is the same." Blewitt then presented data showing that the Earth has been spinning for several billion years already and has become "quite dizzy." The real danger, according to Blewitt, will come when the Earth "falls down like my nephew did. Danny fell and scraped his elbow, but the Earth has no elbows. So it will probably be worse for the Earth."