Eat Your Vegetables Day

Millions celebrated Eat Your Vegetables Day today, a little-known holiday intended to encourage more Americans to eat fresh broccoli, carrots, and other nutritious vegetables. The day coincides with an announcement made yesterday by the U.S. Department of Agriculture that frozen, batter-covered french fries should be considered fresh vegetables.

U.S. District Judge Richard Schell endorsed the recommended changes from the Department of Agriculture, noting that he is especially pleased with his decision because he "really likes" french fries and eats them often. "I go to McDonald's just about every day," said Judge Schell, "and I never miss an opportunity to say those magical words: 'Super Size Me.'" Before the endorsement from Schell, only 12 million pounds of vegetables were consumed daily in the entire country. Today, however, a record 47 million pounds of vegetables were consumed, most of that in french fries. Judge Schell declined to take credit for the increase in vegetable consumption. "My main goal is for more people to eat french fries, because I love them, and also because I own a large amount of stock in the Frito-Lay company and Heinz's Ore-Ida Fries. But don't quote me on that," he said.