Duke Hits Snooze Alarm

Duke University has announced it is eliminating all 8 a.m. classes starting this fall. Citing research showing college students get an average of six to seven hours of sleep per night, Duke's director of counseling and psychological services James Clack said, "They really think it doesn't bother them, but that really isn't the case."

Assistant Dean of Students Ryan Lombardi said that the school will be making further changes to course schedules in the fall. Administrators have proposed moving all courses in the History Department to times after 9 p.m. "We have been made aware that many, many students fall asleep in history classes," said Lombardi. "We are now trying to use this to our advantage. We will be installing more comfortable chairs and headrests to encourage students to keep sleeping all the way through the night." He expects the most effective classes to include "Lectures on the History of U.S. Foreign Policy" and "A Documentary Film History of 20th Century Monarchs." Lombardi added, "Just about anything in the Anthropology Department ought to do the trick, too."