Study Shows Senators Similar to Chimps

Research carried out at the RIKEN Genomic Sciences Center in Yokohama, Japan, shows that "genetically, chimpanzees are 98.5 percent identical to humans." Asao Fujiyama, head of the team who wrote the study, also found that differences between "humans and chimps are much more complicated than conventional wisdom has portrayed."

Other distinguised researchers, however, have recently exposed the source of the human DNA used, leading to questions over the legitimacy of the findings. "The RIKEN researchers needed a high-profile source of DNA," said Micah Larson during a conference of the Institute for Genomic Research. "They received permission from the US government to use DNA samples from members of the US Senate and House of Representatives," he said, with a disappointed frown. Larson held up a chart of the findings in which he had substituted the word 'senators' for 'humans,' changing the chart's title to 'Chimpanzees Are 98.5 Percent Identical to Senators.' "Now that the truth has come out," he said, "I really don't think these results should be surprising to anyone."